“My sweet I’m thinking the trained and drained is not for you.” is what the text from Domina Shelle said. In the moment, i replied with “Agreed”. Wwe proceeded to text for a little bit about how much She owns my arousal and how much Wwe both love it that She does.
After all, i pretty much already give Domina Shelle all that i can afford out of my deep love for Her. Not just monetarily via my monthly tribute, i also freely give Her my heart and soul. Then there is the time that i spent with Her: roughly four hours worth of recordings daily, sometimes more on weekends; Twitter; this blog when i can rip myself away from Her voice long enough to write; etc. That is without mentioning all of the little things that i am currently forgetting.
Similarly, FinDom has always come across to me as an impersonal form of submitting to a Dominant Woman. Do not get me wrong, i understand how that can be compelling to some. It has just not been for me. For me, love has always been the main draw in surrendering to Domina Shelle. There just is not a more beautiful bliss than losing all control to Domina Shelle. i completely trust Her and know that She genuinely loves me.
A couple of blank lines followed by “Unless you listen for fun” is how Domina Shelle’s text actually ended. These words were mostly overlooked yesterday. However, they have been rolling around in my mind enough to inspire this post. “Was this Domina’s way of softly asking me to explore this with Her?” is the question i keep finding myself asking.
Obviously, FinDom with Domina Shelle is not going to be impersonal. Oour relationship has become too close and too filled with love for that. Unfortunately, there is also a few more years of paying off previous poor decisions before i could even reevaluate my monthly tribute. This means that i realistically can not afford to give Her more money.
On the other hand, i was blessed two weeks ago when Domina Shelle agreed to completely control the recordings that i listen to. Her new releases would trigger my fomo causing me to bounce around and not truly focus on learning the training that a particular recording was attempting to impart. It is a huge relief to no longer fret over which recordings i should be focusing on. It is also the main thing i contribute to my new found success in always falling deeper for Domina Shelle.
Losing control to Domina Shelle is so sexy, so erotic, and so very addictive. She can attest that i have been yearning to be out of the recording picking business for awhile now. The concept of giving Her free access to my mind for Her to program me the way She desires is extremely seductive. Even more so when i am clueless about the content before pressing play.
In the end, i completely trust Domina Shelle to always have my best interests at heart. It is also Her will, not mine. Therefore, the only real decision is to directly ask Domina the question. Domina Shelle, do You desire for me to listen to Trained and Drained? 😘